I have put on around 1 Kg since I came back to
“It’s so cold that I need to eat so that my body can burn the energy it needs to keep warm.”
“I can’t help it, I get hungry in winter.”
“Many people are going through the same thing so we can get fat together.”
Those are some of the excuses that I tell myself. But the thing is, I am unhappy about my weight gain. Maybe I am being a little vain here but when the majority of your friends are size 8… It leaves a size 10 girl like me unhappy when I see my tummy bloats or my jeans feel tight or most importantly.. when my face grows bigger!
I have always had a wide face due to bone structure. I am jealous of my younger sister for having a long and narrow face. I want my other younger sister’s small-boned structure. But I am quite happy that I am taller than them both.. that is.. standing at around 160 cm.. It is only around a 2-4 cm difference with my youngest sister but that keeps me happy for now.. hahaha…
I wish I have the willpower to not eat junk food and be able to resist temptations. But I gotta say that I don’t.. I like food. I just don’t like the calorie and fat content. What a full of dilemma situation that I need to face sometimes, I said to myself in pity sometimes. Even though I know that it is a simple thing and there is nothing major to be pitied about.
I guess that it is human nature to take pity on him/herself. Maybe pitying myself is actually a hidden desire inside me to be told that it is okay to be the way you are with all your physical and spiritual flaws and we all love you the way you are.
But people naturally make judgments, don’t they? It is natural for humans to form an opinion based on what they see or hear… even though many times we are wrong about our own opinion about someone.
I am trying to be more open minded and accepting right now. To accept people’s flaws and differences. I guess that is why I have a various range of friends. From the goody goody to the drug dealer, from homosexuals to serial one-night stander. As for myself, I vow to avoid sexual relationships until the day I get married, just like some of my friends do.
I know that I am quite a conservative conformist in this area because what they say is that “everyone has sex.” But hey, every one has their own barrier that they set to him/herself. It is fine for me if someone tells me that sex is fun, but I don’t think it is okay for them to convince me to try it out because it is against my personal belief and want and most importantly, choice. My free choice because I don’t see the need for me to have sex at the moment even though many tells me that is a need.
Is it? Well I and many others have survived from the absence of sex but then again… if you argue that it is a need then let it be…
Guess that means that everyone has a free choice and we should all respect other’s choice even though it might sound stupid, silly or unacceptable.
Differences in religions or even political values should not create war but instead be seen as richness in our society. We can all learn to about each other and there is no point of fighting and abusing others over it because in the end… the truth wins.
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