A tribute to all my Exes

Thanks to Friendster’s bulletin board, I was thinking back through my so-called love life experience.

I haven’t really had any very super serious relationship previously and I guess I had an issue with totally surrender to someone’s will. Just as it is hard for me to surrender to God’s will and I guess that’s why, often, I have to sit and wait for God to take control.

I hate losing control. I didn’t like falling in love because I can’t control my emotions. It was funny how the last time I fell in love, I cried over nothing but so utterly in love with the guy. Call it a weird personality.

Somehow though, the guys who have stolen my hearts do not make me hate them. There were some that my friends despise so much but to me, each has brought a lesson for me to learn. I guess it’s true what even if it doesn’t work out, you still learn something from the relationship.

I guess that each one of us needs to look at relationships as an opportunity to learn. You will be amazed on how much you learn about yourself, life and other people once the relationship ends or is in progress.

That’s why I tell my friends, don’t hate your exes, even though that person had done something very very super bad. Just don’t go out with them again if they are that bad but don’t hate.

Because you used to love that person anyway. That person was nice to you once. That person taught you to be smarter and know what to look for in your next relationship. That is not to take relationships for granted.

I am very careful and analytical before I go into a relationship, to avoid getting hurt. But hey, humans make plan, and God decides. No matter how try you hard, sometimes you just have to break up.

Some of our mistakes is trying to work out the relationship too much, that the last problem of my relationship, I think. I guess that we pushed so much for it to be a success but when the road leads to no end, we both got frustrated. It is a good lesson though, I know that I need to just go along with the water next time.

And I guessed I really learned about “love”.. conclusion: difficult. Very.. It reveals your weaknesses more than your strength and I guess that’s why they call it love is blind, unconditional love etc etc..

Actually, it is funny how I realized that I was at my worst self when I was in my last relationship. The bad side of me just jumped out and some of it, scared me.. to think that am I really that person? Blah… that’s why love is scary… you can’t control yourself.. I need to learn about self-control..

So my ex boyfriend, ex HTS, and ex gbt, forgive me for anything bad I have done. I hope that we can still keep in touch because you all have changed me into a better person.. I had a lot of introspecting time.. Thanks so much and I do mean it because you are some of the people who know me the best and you guys will always have a place in my heart and prayers.

The good news for me is that I am now stronger, more careful and smarter.

The bad news for me is that I now find it hard to trust or fall for anyone. But I guess that it will be worth it when I find the one. I'll be able to treat him with the best possible way as an expression of gratitude.

Therefore, all the best for you all.