My prayer

*What is like for me to be Christian? Why do I have my faith? What is my perception of God? Here goes... My very personal letter to God... Maybe it sounds stupid for some of you... Maybe it sounds superficial, maybe what I pray for seems impossible...But hey, this is me and I am not trying to kill anyone... Just wanna be a better person...and it's okay to be me, isn't it? *




Dear Lord, I bow my knees to you alone. In Your love I survive and stand strong through all the obstacles and storms that exist. I live now because of You and Your blessing and I live for You.

Everything that I do, as simple as it is, I believe, is because of You. The food that I eat was from You. The water I drink is the water You gave me. The bed that I sleep on, the air that I breath and the wind that caress my face. Everything is given to me by Your blessing.

I thank You for all your blessings. You are my only trusted guide since I’ve chosen to give up doing things from my own strength. Do help me, Lord, if one day I turn my face against you, please take my hand back to the light and show me the way out, like You’ve done for me before throughout my darkest moments in life. If I am tempted by my sinful nature and sin itself, please strengthened my heart and faith so I can fight my own made path to self destruction and lead me out from my war.

Everything that I’ve done, all the sins that I have done, I confess it. I admit that am still a sinful human that is still attached to my worldly desires. One thing, Lord, I want to be like you. The patient person who is loyal to Father. Who has helped me and man others. Whom is forgiving and has an incredible faith.

I realized that I have had more than enough until now. I have never starved and am often too full. Sometimes I guess that I eat more than my body needs for me to survive. Even though I don’t always eat expensive and delightful gourmet food, I can still eat.

Sometimes I think about and pity those who do not have food to eat and realize how lucky and blessed I am. I am grateful that I have enough clothes to keep me warm in winter, even though they are usually bargain clothes. Compared to the homeless and poor people who are struggling to survive, I am very very lucky and super rich.

But I realize that I am rich, because of You. I did not die because of thirst because You have been spoiling me and give me water, even from the Flinders Street Station toilet tap when I did not have enough money to buy a bottle of water. Maybe it is not the best place to get the best tasting water… but at least I was able to hydrate my body because I found the water to drink.

And such things are the blessings that I often forget about. Please forgive me Lord and teach me Your ways so that I can always see You and Your hands working in every little simple detail of my daily tasks.

Lord, I’ve realized that 1 second with You is more precious than 1000 thousand years of being filthy rich in this world. When I think about what little things I have, such as the couple of dollars in my bank account, I can’t say that You have not blessed me. There is not any ocean that is deep enough for me to give a description on how grateful and content I feel, when I think about the blessings and help that You have provided me.

When I think about what I have, instead of what I want to have, my contentment shouts praise and thank You that although I don’t have many things, I have everything that I need to live.

You have given me the permission to base my identity in You instead of human expectation and be happy with the way I am. I am sure that no matter how filthy I look in the human eyes, I am still Your child and You will still love me and forgive me of my trespasses.

Dear Lord, dwell me in Your wisdom so that I can help those in need and those who have less than me. So that I don’t judge people based on my capacity limited brain. Teach me to think and act with love and help me to love my enemies and those I do not like… for whatever reasons and whatever pain.

You are the only one who knows what kind of person I am and You are the only one who will never judge me from the outside. Only You will accept me and take me as who I am with all my sins, trespasses and my bad character traits and imperfections. Only You are able to love me as who I am and not blame me for being who I am.

I’ve searched and I’ve prayed but I have found that there is noone who does not naturally judge people from the outside or have a set prejudgement in their brain.

I’ve cursed You, hated You and despised You before only to find that it was You that I need and help me the most. You had always been patient and accept me as who I am despite all the bad things I’ve said about you. You have forgiven me and gave me so much I return.

And I am glad that I am alive today

And I am glad that I did not end my life when I had the chance

Thank You for the family that You have given me, for the schools and university where I could get education from, for the friends and experiences in life (bad and good) that You have allowed me to go through. They have proved to be useful and have given me so much wisdom and things to learn. When the storm is over, I am able to see the light.

Most importantly, I’ve changed for the better.

Because You gave me a chance to live

And let me experience true Love

And I do love You

Lastly I pray, Lord, please take care and watch over my family, friends, acquaintances, those I don’t like, those who were my enemies and those I don’t even know. I pray that this world can one day be peaceful and war and hatred will be wiped away. When hunger, thirst, cold and heat will no longer exist.

Thank you for letting me live my life