The outcome of my effort in finding the meaning of the word.. SOULMATE

As an effort to solve the mystery of soulmate, I read a book called When Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris. I and many of my friends are confused about finding the right person and we ask questions as an attempt to understand it.

Joshua wrote an epilogue on how His granddaughter asked him about Eve as his destined love and match.. Here is what he writes:

Adam said: “You ask these questions because you yourself long to
meet you soul’s match. You miss someone you’ve never
met. You want to run through time and glimpse that
first meeting. You want to know how you’ll know him.
But you need not fear.”

“But it doesn’t seem fair to me” Elanna said, the
words born of frustration tumbling out. “It was so
easy for you. The Maker brought Grandmother to you.
She was the only woman for you. She was the only
woman! But here, now, it’s so different – so, so
confusing.”

“It is not more confusing,” he said gently, “It only
seems that way. Our meeting was ‘easy’, as you put it,
not because we were the only humankind, but because in
those sweet days before we disobeyed, we implicitly
trusted the Maker to bring what was good.”

“My dear child, what you must try to see is that
nothing has changed. When the Maker brings you your
husband you’ll be aware that it was He who made you
for each other and he who planned your meeting. And in
that moment, just as we did you’ll want to sing a song
of praise to Him.”

--- Somewhere in the book, Joshua said this: ---

‘Wisdom calls us to slow down. We can be patient
because we know that God is sovereign and that He is
faithful. (Psalm 38:15). Patience is an expression of
trust that God the Master Chef Can serve up an
exquisite relationship. This lets us enjoy each part
of our love story. We can be faithful and content
right where we are – whether it’s in friendship or
courtship or engagement – and not try to steal the
privileges God has reserved for a later season.

My dad likes to say that time is God’s way of keeping
everything happening all at once. If you’re not ready
to get married, don’t grab at a relationship.
Patiently wait for the right time to start one that
can eventually lead to marriage. If you are ready for
marriage and you’re in a relationship, don’t let
impatience cause you to rush. Take your time. Enjoy
where God has the two of you right now. Savor each
course. Don’t settle for mishmash. “

Hmmm hmmm.... mishmash and curiosity...

I must admit that I am deeply curious to know who I will end up with.
Sometimes I wish I can just ask God and He will answer the who and when? But I guess doing that will not train my patience and I might have to keep waiting and hold on to what Joshua has written and not rush in anything stupid.

I somehow believe that soulmate happens in a way when God puts the right person at the right time to help you with what you need to do. For example, when I went back for good to Indonesia, from Melbourne, around one year ago, I had one bag too many. Luckily, a friend of my sister had to catch my flight because his passport was stolen. I could therefore bring everything with me because he put it in his allowance.

Maybe it is a coincidence.. but hey... that's serendipity, isn’t it?.. It happens by chance and I believe that it happens for a reason and the reason is God's plan and timing.

So I guess, maybe that is soulmate.. somehow God brings two people together to meet and experience something which might be seen in a different perspective by each of the person. But somehow, it brings them together and they find out that they are a good match.

I also believe that good friends are almost like soulmates. To me, friends are my treasury and they can bring the best of me and they help you out when you experience something that you’d never thought of before. It was as if, God puts the right person to help me out from my problems and continue my life. Maybe that’s boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse is also called partners. Because with that person you partner up to do something, like a greater purpose that doesn’t stop after marriage…

Can raising kids be seen as this example?

You don't know who you will end up with in the end.
Maybe someone from the past or maybe someone new but however, I guess that each relationship that we have gone through, no matter how painful it is, in the end… each brings goodness because from there you know how to treat your partner, how to make someone happy, how your other gender might react or think, how to be gentle, to be understanding, mature, unselfish, accept that person as who he/she is, and to love without reasons etc…

And those pains and sweet memories is like a school that we need to go to for us to be able to give our best for our match.

They say that God has His own time and His own time is
the best time. Maybe it will be in another 10 years.
Maybe in 20 years. Maybe tomorrow but I only know one thing that I am not with my match yet because we are not ready yet.

I guess love is like cooking. The right timing for cooking and the right ingredients = a delicious enjoyable meal.

And I guess that waiting for the right person is a part of the learning process. You learn to be patient because you are expected to spend time with that person until the day you die.

And I guess because divorce is painful, He cooks us up for a long time and make us wait so that we are totally perfect and can appreciate our partner. It might be to prevent hurting ourselves and maybe
children in the future years, for example.. I guess that the case is different for each person.

Maybe we are waiting to wait to be united with until the day one of us dies.

And that waiting will make us able to wait on God and
His other work and plan later on in our lives. Because, I think that there are other heavier problems compared to soulmates and marriage.

So… maybe… soulmate is when a guy meets a woman and the chase is welcome by surrender from both parties which is caused by the right time, the right place, the right person and after the right sequence too..

Confused? Me too!!!!

Maybe.. humans are like wood. God, with His perfect nature, will not build a building that is not weather proof and collapse after 5 minutes after a rain. Therefore, He prefers to build us from a good quality wood that can stand the weather but is not easy to find and a bit expensive.

God, I guess can build a house from a cheap, low grade quality wood. But what is the point of making a table if it breaks after a year and you must make another one?

Now I understand about commitment and a serious relationship. The persons involved and the relationship itself must become strong wood for it to last. Therefore, a strong marriage can be build, unlike cardboards which breaks if you kick it with all your might.

What’s your view on relationship?