The Only Thing I Can Never Let Go

Dear Lord,

I just can’t stop praising You
And being thankful for all the things that have happened to me.

I have injured my back
I have lost my job
I have lost my mobile phone
I have lost an uncle because of cancer
But I have gained so much more in You

I know that it might sound weird but despite all these things, I just feel very peaceful, happy and so in love with You all over again.

I feel that Your love pours from the heavens above and fills my cup abundantly until it overflows
I feel that I can face anything

I am not even sad
Stressed
Angry
Or mad at You or anyone

I am indeed very thankful that You allow me to go through all these things that can be classified as “bad luck” or misfortunate
Because by going through all of these, I can get to know You even more
I can have my character built
I can have inspirations
Learn new things
Learn new wisdom
Find new revelation about things
Find new philosophies and perspectives in life
And find my focus in You

The most important thing that I find and am most thankful of is…..

Finding the love of God,
Your sovereignty, mightiness and awesome power
To find that I can have a relationship with God and that God is real
To know and be sure that the God I worship is not a myth from the old testament or some rubbish created by the church to gain followers

All these things are things that are good for me

I am really grateful and thankful that You have put Jesus in my path
Despite all my old skepticism, You still saw me as worthy enough
I don’t know why I didn’t choose to believe in Jesus soon enough a few years ago...

Should I know all this, I wouldn’t have tempted to commit suicide or do stupid risky things that I have done before

But I am thankful that You found me at the right time and You hear my cry of desperation
I am thankful that You have seen that the things I need the most is a spiritual strength and encouragement

Eventhough it is not an easy journey and I continue to face big problems and obstacles in my life…

I am not resentful anymore
I don’t regret life anymore
I don’t hate myself anymore
I don’t see myself as unworthy anymore
I don’t see myself as ugly and stupid anymore

Because You have found me precious and worthy of Your love

I don’t really care if people call me stupid for believing in a God that I cannot see
Because they haven’t felt what I feel
And I know that what I feel is real
And money and success is not the most important thing of all in this world

Jesus is my most treasured possession

I have experienced life without Your love
I have felt You so far away even when I sought You

And I don’t want to go back to that place

Because You are my reason for living and the only thing that anyone can’t take from me
The only thing that I can never let go