Love and Vivi

I was having a discussion with a couple of friends about love. Is it simple or is it complicated? Is it hard or is it easy? What is love? When people say that first love never dies, do you think it’s true?

I think it is. First love or past loves will always have a place in your heart but not necessarily the one that you focus your attention, feeling, sacrifices and decisions on.

For me, past loves don’t die because I learn from them. I may not want to go back with any of them but those relationships taught me a lot about what true love is all about. I prefer to take everything that has happened into good memories. It does not matter that I cried over things that have happened or the fact that when my heart was broken I felt that maybe I would not be able to relive these kinds of moments with another person.

But you see, all those heartaches turn out well because they turned me into a more mature person who appreciates a relationship more. With each one, I learn from past mistakes whether it is interpersonal relationships, characters or simply what type of guys I can stand and definitely can put up with me. With each lesson I learned, I found that perhaps God let it happened so that I can understand how to treat my future one better.

After all, I believe on the phrase that “things happen when the time is right.” Opportunities must be seized. Chances must be given but pity, desperation, boredom or curiosity can never be a good foundation where you can build a good relationship on.

True love, for me, is about giving and sacrificing. It is about how much you are willing to give to a person. It is about how much you are willing to put your own happiness or wants after the other person’s.

For me, true love is not easy because it counterattack the selfishness trait that each human has. That is why, I believe that once a decision is made, any consequences have to be taken wholeheartedly just as the good experiences have to be too.

I don’t believe in looking back and comparing people because each person is different and one can teach you different things and take you to different journey. Once a journey is decided, it is like a non refundable ticket. You either refuse to embark the flight or you can just get on it because you have decided to do it and you stick to your decision.

Can love ever be easy? I don’t think so. Love breaks you into pieces but then build you back into a better creation. Admiration, obsession and lust let you feed your inner ego but love forces you to let go of your ego. Love can last or love can stop but a commitment cannot be looked down upon because you are responsible for the other party as well.

Maybe it sounds more like a business contract but isn’t marriage is like one? I don’t like breaking contracts unless it is a mutual agreement but for me, I’d rather wait for the right person to have a relationship with than go out and chase after any available guy.

It is not because I am arrogant, lazy, prudent, think highly of myself or conservative. I am more concerned about not being able to be my best self for someone and in turn hurt or disappoint the other person while forcing him to let me feed on him.

The past is the past that cannot be rewinded or taken away. You have to take it along with the person that you have chosen. But the present and the future are things that you can work on. How much you are willing to invest, how many opportunities you are willing to seize, how many risks you are willing to take, and how much commitment or sacrifices you are willing to make is totally up to you.

Life is a race. You have to keep running until you reach the finish line. There is no such thing as rerun in races. You just go on, let your old sweat evaporate and wipe your fresh one with satisfaction when you reach the finish line. Because, you have finished the exhausting long run.

It does not matter how many years you take or how slow you run, what is most important is that you finish your race. You have to keep running because the clock keeps ticking and unfortunately, time will not stop for us.

So, I will go on and finish my race, knowing that at the end of it, I shall be satisfied that I ran with all my might and did not give up in the middle of my race regardless on how difficult the track is.